Maybe
by ShadowsOnTheMoon
Summary: After all I've done to her and her friends, how much distance I've put between us, I hadn't expected to still feel this strongly.


**This is set during 4x01. I think Mona does really care about Hanna, and I also think they'd make a cute couple. So this is just a quick little one-shot based on what I feel Mona could be thinking during this scene. I really like this pairing so I may well add onto this at some point if I get inspiration/see people liked it. So let me know what you think.**

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"That's a healthy attitude," Hanna says with a smile.

"Yeah," I agree absently, surprised at how much her approval means to me. After all I've done to her and her friends, how much distance I've put between us, I hadn't expected to still feel this strongly. This whole day has been a lie, of course; she wants me to stick around because she doesn't trust me, not because she values my company. But maybe that's enough for now.

She slides my glass of soda over to me and reaches for her own. I take a sip, watching her out of the corner of my eye, and suddenly I sense the mood changing. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is, whether it's the way Hanna slumps slightly in her chair, or the heavy silence that falls over us, but I know something's different now. It's time for us both to drop the act.

I wait for her to speak, but she doesn't say anything. For a moment I consider telling her the truth, but my courage fails me and instead I say, "I should actually probably get going -"

She looks up at me, forcing a smile, and says, "I had fun today."

"No you didn't." I don't know why I'm so quick to call her out on it. Maybe I need confirmation; I need to hear her say that she's lying, that she doesn't still care about me. Or maybe I'm hoping for the opposite, that she'll contradict me and say that she really did have a good day. "I know you're just pretending to be my friend again."

The words feel like ice in my mouth, and I spit them out quickly, hoping that way it will hurt less. She looks away again, and I wonder if she's going to apologize. How crazy that would be, for Hanna to apologize to me after all I've put her through. I wouldn't deserve her apology.

But she doesn't say anything. Before I can talk myself out of it I reach into my bag and pull out the chip I took from Wilden's car. As I push it across the table to her, she stares at it as if she can't quite figure out what it is. But then I realize she's probably just trying to figure out if this is some kind of trick, if I'm still pulling the strings and making them dance like puppets.

"It's the only copy," I assure her. "If I were you, I'd burn it."

We share a long look. Her gaze is searching, and I know she's trying to decide whether or not to trust me. So I meet her eyes and try to be as open as possible. I learnt about effective communication in Radley, about openness and transparency, and I try to apply that now. I hope she can tell that I'm being genuine here.

"You're giving it to me?" she asks, seeming unsure. "Just like that?"

It's almost painful to hear the hope in her voice. She still wants to trust me, she wants to give me a chance, and maybe this is my way to show her how much I appreciate it. I can never make amends for everything I've done to the girls, and I know some part of Hanna will never forgive me, but maybe this is a start. I need her to know that I'm on her side, that some part of me always was.

"Yeah," I reply, searching her face for some sign of the Hanna I know, the one who's come with me on countless shopping trips and spent hours gossiping about boys with me. When she found out about my involvement with the A-Team she'd become harder, colder, and every time she looked at me I could see accusations swimming in her eyes. There's still a trace of that, but there's also uncertainty, like maybe she could learn to trust me again. I hesitate before adding passionately, "I really loved you once, and I really was your friend."

I'm too scared to hear her answer, and I'm not sure she's going to give me one anyway, so I quickly gather my things, stand up, and leave without another word.

Maybe someday she'll believe me. Until then, I'll just have to keep trying to prove it to her.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X


End file.
